Welcome Blended Families By Kamal Virdi

 

What is a Blended family 

    The Vanier Institute as cited by Mitchell states that the definition of a family is “Any combination of two or more persons who are bound together over time by ties of mutual consent, birth, and/or adoption or placement and who, together, assume responsibilities for variant combinations of: physical maintenance and care of group members, addition of new members through procreation or adoption, socialization of children, social control of members, production, consumption, disruption of goods and services, affective nurturance-love” ( 2020, p.11).  

    Whereas blended family is defined as by Statistics Canada (2007) states “A stepfamily is when there are children who either biological or adopted from one of the spouses or common-law partners living in the home. A blended family has at least one child that is biological or adopted to the parents in the home at least one child is biological or adopted to only one spouse or partner” (as cited in Gibson, 2013, pp.793-794). 

What are some of the Challenges Parents from a newly Blended Family May Face? 

•  Blended families, overall, have distinctive familial relationships than nuclear or biological families. Wilson tells us “shifting roles among blended family members can be a source of apprehension and confusion” (2019, p.362). New roles can lead to resentment between parents and children, couples, and siblings. 
• Most of the parents in a stepfamily are unaware of expectations for their stepparent roles before cohabitating. This can result in a higher level of stress as well as increased parenting difficulties (Cartwright, 2010, p. 58).
• On top of the increased stress to unaware expectations, there is also the challenge of adapting to the discipline role by stepparents. This has been found to be difficult for stepchildren to adjust to (Cartwright, 2010, p. 59).  

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 CHALLENGES CHILDREN MAY FACE  

    Children may find it difficult to express their emotions and opinions. Wilson explains that educators can assist with this challenge by “Educators should observe children closely and be active listeners, helping them to articulate their feelings. Help children understand that it takes time for a new blended family to get to know one another. A common issue for children is the embarrassment over the divorce and remarriage. It is important to acknowledge the child’s feeling” (2019, p.363) 

    

    Another issue that children confront is not knowing who will pick them up and where they will go. Wilson goes into further detail stating “Confusion is the order of the day for some children who must learn to become members of two households. Transitions to one of these homes at the end of the week often happen in child-care centers. Teachers can help the child to organize and prepare for this adjustment” (2019, p.363). 

    Certain activities and experiences may relate back to the child and their family in a painful way. When educators take the time to become aware of the child(ren)s history, they can ensure the environment does not expose children to moments that may be painful, unavailable, or unknown (Wilson, 2019, p.315).  

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WELCOMING EXTENDED FAMILY 

    A benefit of welcoming extended family into the environment can be “Teachers who welcome extended family members create an experience where everyone focuses on enriching the child’s life, and everyone benefits” (Wilson, 2019, p.71).  

They also go on to develop a healthy school atmosphere in which all stakeholders may collaborate collaboratively to address the identified issues. When step-family members are included in an extended family, the dynamics are more complicated. Programs for educators and parents are an excellent approach to help all engaged feel welcome and safe.

    

    Having flexible opportunities for the family to participate in the program, and example of this would be to have; “The stepmother or stepfather might be invited to the playroom to share a talent or an interest, or just to visit. Let the child be the tour guide” (Wilson, 2019, p.363). Being aware of extended familial relationships and cultural variations will aid in recognizing the roadblocks to extended family engagement. Once the hurdles have been identified, educators can give chances for families to collaborate at their own pace. Each family member will feel welcomed and encouraged to engage and contribute by giving a variety of chances to participate and contribute.

    For more information on how to welcome every member of your family, here is our brochure of information and resources: New Roles and Expectations. 

Benefits of Family Gatherings for Blended family 

  

    A TEDx Youth lecture by Luca was discovered while accumulating research for family gatherings. He skillfully articulated the significance of family gatherings with the following metaphor: “A metaphor for helping put family time into your day there is a jar sand and three rocks the rocks represent family time sand is regular daily activities and the jar is your schedule if you put the sandwich represents the daily activities and 1st the rocks which represent family time won't fit but if I put the rocks in verse the sand will gather around the rocks this states that if you form your day around your family time everything will fit into your day” (2021, 2:19). 

To learn more about the importance of family gatherings, here is the link to our blog : The Importance Of Family Gatherings  

 

 

References: 

rtwright, C. (2010). An Exploratory Investigation of Parenting Practices in Stepfamilies. New Zealand Journal of Psychology, 39(1), 57-64.  

Gibson, D. (2013). Ambiguous Roles in a Stepfamily: Using Maps of Narrative Practices to Develop a New Family Story with Adolescents and Parents. Contemporary Family Therapy: An International Journal, 35(4), 793-805. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10591-013-9258-2 

Mitchell, B. A. (2017). Family matters: An introduction to family sociology in Canada (3rd Canadian ed.). Canadian Scholars Press. 

Stepfamily Foundation of Alberta. Retrieved 18 July 2021, from http://www.stepfamily.ca/ 

TEDx Youth. (2021). The Importance of Family Time [Video]. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GPtxFKqDilA 

Visher, E. B., & Visher, J. S. (1985). Stepfamilies are different. Journal of Family Therapy, 7(1), 9–18. https://doi.org/10.1046/j..1985.00661.x 

Wilson, L. (2019) Partnerships: Families and Communities in Early Childhood (6th Edition). Nelson Education. 

YW Calgary. Retrieved 18 July 2021, from https://www.ywcalgary.ca/